Our sexual instinct takes millions of years to perpetuate the race and is activated biologically through specific hormones automatically, in fact sexual arousal can’t occur at will. But for human beings the only purpose of sexuality is not procreation but also the obtaining of pleasure and this is where our rational mind can complicate the panorama by introducing emotion into this equation.
The instinctive drives that start from our oldest brain find in our rational part an insurmountable wall that produces a dissociation in our system difficult to reconcile, when our mind focuses exclusively on judging our sexual performance, our satisfaction usually disappears.
The erection of the penis and the lubrication of the vagina are governed by the autonomic nervous system, the demands, the orders do not work, the anxiety generated by the impositions produces that the normal physiological reflexes do not originate, we must eradicate the sexual relations under pressure. Sexuality must unfold freely and spontaneously to be pleasurable, the fear of failure is the most important castrator that exists in our relationships, in the face of frustration we should not feel guilt or fear, we only manage to block our organism further entering a dynamic of difficult solution.
What we think and feel greatly interferes with our erotic sensations and the quality of sex we have, the anxiety that we perceive in our sexual relations focuses totally the attention in our body and in how to control the situation causing that the dysfunction begins. We must break with this pattern that keeps us limited and understand that anxiety and pleasure are irreconcilable enemies, we must disconnect from the mental programming and allow the sensations to flow autonomously, they will lead us to the pleasure that we so crave.