Tag Archives: orgasm

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SEXUAL FANTASIES

Sexual fantasies are imaginary mental representations that stimulate and accompany sexual acts, as with dream interpretation, can give us access to knowledge of unconscious and repressed desires, in addition to representing our tastes in sexual matters.

Should we hide our fantasies? The fact that these remain in our subjective and unrealized world confer a degree of excitability but sharing them also provides an extra stimulus to sex with couple.

Having fantasies does not reflect a dissatisfaction in sexual relationships but rather they have mainly an aphrodisiac role, they are normal, exciting and completely natural. For clinical sexology the sexual fantasy is a necessary instrument for a satisfactory sexual life, without it, it is possible that a dysfunction of sexual desire is installed,  according to a study on sexology, the nature of fantasies varies among the population, but very few can be considered rare or unusual.

They are only considered pathological when they begin to take place and affect the life of the person or when they are the only way to achieve orgasm then they enter the field of paraphilias. Sexual fantasies are important to such an extent that the formation of the couple ideal that inspires us to fall in love and choose a partner is based on the sexual fantasies we build throughout life.

Its primary function is to intensify sexual pleasure by filling conscious desires and even unconscious ones providing stimuli for masturbation. Sexual fantasies are one of the richest fields of freedom and creativity in our human condition.

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THE MYTH OF ORGASM

Our socioculture that governs the opinions of how we think and feel has made us slaves of performance, the intrinsic value of an element is only measured by the maximum amount of benefit we obtain from it. Within our private and intimate sphere we have also succumbed to the tendency to measure all events quantitatively, even our sexual satisfaction is also regulated by a series of dogmas that decide for us how we should perceive our pleasure. The exclusive criterion of reference for the enjoyment is the orgasm, all the success within a sexual relation is measured by him, this entails great frustrations and disappointments that we could mitigate if we contemplated it from the correct perspective.

We can´t base our expectations of enjoyment solely on the size or duration of an erection or on the amount of orgasms achieved, whatever the conditions, it is necessary to demystify that three seconds of glory suffices to define quality and intimacy within a relationship.

The drives define us as sexed beings but there is much more to be taken into account within the universe of satisfaction than to function as mere infallible bodies. The orgasm is overrated and the lack of sexual education produces great suffering and misunderstandings, there is no failure within an intimate relationship if the experience is valued from a qualitative approach. The degree of satisfaction within an intimate bond is very subjective and individual, sometimes great feats leave us at the end totally dissatisfied.

The objective is much simpler but much more valuable, we must learn to enjoy the sexual life, sometimes insistently force a result makes our enjoyment stay on the road. When we stop distressing ourselves and discard all the expectations we have about how our sexual performance should be, we can begin to abandon ourselves to the experience, without expecting anything, just letting it be the moment, that takes us to the doors of pleasure.

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